Something Happened on the Way to Heaven
There’s this great Phil Collins song called “Something Happened on the Way to Heaven.” If it doesn’t ring a bell, listen to first 30 seconds. The instrumental sounds like you should be watching the Rangers hit the ice for a game or the cheerleaders running on the field.
Years ago, well before I was engaged, I always imagined this being the song that my family would come out to when introduced on the dance floor at my wedding. I wasn’t one to dream about my eventual wedding but I just knew this 60 second instrumental would be perfect. My plan was to not tell my parents about the song. I knew as soon as it came on, my Dad would love it.
In a weird way, this song has always made me emotional because whenever I would hear it, which is often since I put it on a lot of playlists, I would picture this great moment of my parents hitting the dance floor at my wedding. When I got engaged, I was so excited that I could finally surprise them with this song. And then my Dad died and the wedding was canceled. Hearing this song made me ten times more emotional, as I could still picture him making an entrance at my wedding, even though he never would.
When discussing entrances with my Mom, I told her I wanted to play this song. I ruined the surprise because I wanted to tell her my vision for her and Phil being surprised by this great tune. As we tried to figure out who should be introduced, it started getting a little complex. Should it be every single blood relative? Just Aunts & Uncles? Cousins too? Eileen finally said “actually, just you two should be introduced.” And she was right! We didn’t need a parade at our wedding. We scrapped the introductions which meant we had to scrap the Phil Collins song.
At first, I was heartbroken that this fantasy of mine was crushed twice, first by the fact that Phil would never get to walk out to it and then again by the fact that we wouldn’t even play it. The wedding came and went, and it was truly the best event of my life, and far exceeded my expectations. While on my honeymoon, jamming out to some music, the Phil Collins song came on. I felt emotional but had an amazing epiphany for myself.
I realized that it was a good thing we didn’t play the song. Not playing the song and not having the entrance acknowledges that Phil wasn’t at the wedding and that not everything was the same without him there. We thought the wedding would be bittersweet without him, and although we missed him dearly, it was truly a booty-shaking party full of love, laughter, and joy. Eileen and I did a great job planning it without him. Gary stood in to walk me down the aisle and was the perfect stand-in. Eileen gave an amazing toast. Every detail went off without a hitch. We felt his absence for sure, but that absence was filled in with 99 smiles.
This Phil Collins song will always be a reminder that this original wedding, this fatherly duty he had, the party Phil always wanted, didn’t go exactly as planned because he wasn’t there. The song is what I can hold on to to acknowledge his absence.
It’s his entrance song. Even though he missed his entrance, we carried on because he would have wanted us to have the party of a lifetime.
